Ali G Interviews Head of SBS (Selective Business School)

Ali: Booyakasha. Now 'ear dis! Me is in da house wiv da directa of admissions fa sbs, Docta 'erbert. [Presses bejeweled fist to Dr. Herbert's fist.]

Dr. Herbert: Thank you Ali, I'm honored to be on your show.

Ali: Now doc, dey say dat business schools is only fa white, rich bruvers. Is dat be true?

Dr. Herbert: We at SBS are committed to creating a diverse class and we subscribe to the broadest possible definition of diversity. The class of 2005 includes students from 90 countries. Approximately 40% of these students are female, and 50% of them are --

Ali: Hold up, doc. Let's natta more about da wimin fa a second. 'ow batty is dey, and do dey dig to get jiggy?

Dr. Herbert: Ali, our students are ambitious leaders interested in obtaining the best possible business education in the country. These are career-minded individuals. I can't speak to their social proclivities, though SBS does boast over 100 student clubs and over 300 electives. Our students often describe the SBS experience as akin to drinking fine champagne from a fire hose.

Ali: Free shampane? Dat is well good! Does you also import chronic by da truck load?

Dr. Herbert: [Becoming aggravated] It's a figure of speech, we don't actually serve champagne via firehose to students, though we do sponsor a social event called "Wonderful Wednesdays" in which students gather to unwind after classes. Beer and pizza are typically served, and some of our many Nobel prize-winning teaching faculty are known to drop in on occasion.

Ali: Yous geezers can win a prize fa drinkin beer!? Doc, me has ta arxe: 'ow does me git into da SBS? I knows accountin' already: one, two, free, four, ... I could go on! [Throws up gang signs, pumps fist.]

Dr. Herbert: Applicants are evaluated on several factors: demonstrated leadership potential, intellectual vitality, and diversity. Imagine putting together a jigsaw puzzle without having a picture on the box to guide you --

Ali: Ok, ok. Dat is well borin'. I bet you got really hairy balls!

Dr. Herbert: Yes, it's a veritable forest down there. Bye bye. This interview is over. Security!

Ali: [As he's being dragged out.] Wot? Is you ending dis early becoz I'm black? Dat's well racialist, innit?