bskewl

Wharts and All: Blogging the Full-Time MBA Program at the Wharton School

Monday, January 31, 2005

How to Write an MBA Blog [Edit 1]

Inspired by Tony Pierce's award-winning post on how to blog (read it!) I've decided to actually dispense some of my own advice, which is, as usual, going to be quite awful. Brace yourselves.

  • Make promises you can't keep. (For instance, promise to "start writing again" but then fail to deliver on that promise. Another successful tactic is to promise to deliver the straight dope but then delete your blog.)
  • The world is lucky that you deign to acknowledge it. Please, bless us with your unvarnished pearls of wisdom, as nobody has ever written anything on the subject of MBA admissions ever, and it's about time someone wrote the definitive guide to the Stanford, Wharton and Harvard interview process. You! You are the Ron Jeremy of the B-school blog world. You fill a gaping hole in the community.
  • Call your interviewers at Morgan Stanley "a bunch of guidos." This not only reflects well on your school, but also increases the chance that your interviewers will read your blog and decide to give you "big ups" for not kowtowing and kissing their asses like every other applicant out there. Booyakasha.
  • One oft-used tactic requires you to create the mother of all butt-kissing blogs and fill it with nothing but praise for your target school and how much you'd love to attend it. Now here's the key that will allow the adcom to connect the dots: post your GMAT scores, your background, and a few other personal details so that they'll not only read your blog, but connect it to your application profile and therefore be cajoled into rendering a favorable decision. And finally, stop blogging after you're in, as the blog has served its purpose.
  • If you'd prefer to attend a school with no homos in it, make it clear from the get-go. Don't let the blog world's bleeding-heart namby-pambies dissuade you from expressing yourself. PC is just another abbreviation for "communism."
  • Use your "blogs I'm reading" link list as a carrot and stick. If someone says something you don't like, you'll continue to read them of course, you just won't put them on your list. That'll teach 'em! Of course, anybody that kisses your ass in comments totally goes on the list, even though they be boring pedants.
  • Claim to reject every school that accepts you because, after all, you're just too highly remunerated and business school would be a waste of time. Your virtual cock has grown longer!
  • If you decide to attend HBS, stop posting anything interesting or insightful and just focus on pumping the brand. Why spend the effort? As HBS's only blogger, people will read you anyway.
  • If you decide to attend Stanford, emulate the lone Harvard blogger. People will read you anyway.
  • If you decide to blog at Wharton, you'll need to combat the perception that you're blogging on behalf of the marketing office. The best way to do this is to post pictures of busty playmates with Alex Brown's head photoshopped onto them. That'll show the world that you have journalistic integrity. (A thousand sighs of disappointment that my link didn't deliver the goods. Maybe next time.)

Edit 1: Minor improvements here and there.

98 Comments:

Blogger Classy said...

Nice use of 'Da Ali G' referrence! ;-) You speak the truth as usual...

1/31/2005 07:20:00 AM  
Blogger bskewl said...

Thanks classy. Ali G is da man, innit?

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Blogger Classy said...

:-) Respect...

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

>Call your interviewers at Morgan Stanley "a bunch of guidos."

Why do you keep bringing this up?
I agree - whoever said it f-ud up really badly.
Why make it worse for that poor person?

1/31/2005 12:59:00 PM  
Blogger bskewl said...

I'm not trying to rub salt into any wounds. I thought his blog refreshingly honest, just dangerously so.

But something tells me you didn't read that link that I posted at the top of this entry. In it, the following advice is given:

"push the envelope in what youre writing about and how youre saying it. be more and more honest. get to the root of things. start at the root of things and get deeper. dig. think out loud. keep typing. keep going. eventually you'll find a little treasure chest. every time you blog this can happen if you let it."

FairTexFan tried but failed to be honest, and this was an admirable attempt. Unfortunately, he got bit in the ass by violating suggestion number 5, which I quote:

"dont tell your mom, your work, your friends, the people you want to date, or the people you want to work for about your blog."

This blogger did not do enough to preserve his anonymity. Gee, that's the same thing that killed Adam Stein's wonderful blog and StanfordMBA's blog and Godidigo's blog.

The reason I keep bringing this up is because I think it's a really important lesson for this community. I'd prefer to see MORE people being called guidos (assuming, of course, that they are in fact guidos). The last thing I want to download into my feeds every single damned day is more bland crap.

For the span of about six posts, FairTexFan gave us some wonderfully specific writing. His/her mistake was one of naivety. With a little more caution and one or two fabrications to throw sleuths off the scent, he/she could have continued to give us the straight dope.

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