Putting the Horse Before the Cart [Edit 2]

ONE: For one of the companies that unwittingly pays me to write this crap, dysfunction is an operating principle. I just got out of a meeting in which a divisional head wagged her finger at the assembled vice presidents of marketing and business development and admonished, "Let's be careful that we're not putting the horse before the cart." Of course she meant exactly the opposite of what she said, but nobody at the table winced, giggled, or or even noticed the malapropism. Perhaps I'm the odd man out. Perhaps I'm wrong to think that horses should precede carts, that ducks should form orderly lines, that early birds are fed well, that monkey business is necessarily bad business. But what do I know? This company was perverting sound business principles before I was even a tail-lasher in a spoonful of briney seminal fluid.

TWO: Wharton's Graduate Association Store brags that "last year over 85% of Wharton students joined Pub!" That's admirable, but the real question is this: who are these people? What is the overlap of the group of people who opt out of pub to the group of people who study hard enough to make the "Director's List" (top 10% of class based on their GPA)? Are 15% of my classmates asocial losers? (To be fair, friends at top business schools across the country tell me that there are some classmates they never see at social functions.) The idea that all MBA seekers are equally enthusiastic about socializing is as stupid as the idea that all graduates of a certain program are obligated to be effervescent, personable kissers of pimpled applicant ass.

THREE: Who are you people that are coming here because someone emailed you my URL? Please drop me a line (either email or comment) and let me know what someone found compelling (or horrific) enough to warrant an email to approximately 50 of his closest friends. The email was sent on Sunday, but clickthroughs are still happening today. Who are you? Why do you come here? And while I'm talking about logs, I'd like to say hello to frequent visitors from Goldman Sachs, McKinsey, University of Chicago, Palo Alto, Columbia U., Delhi, Yongsan, Dallas, Phoenix, Memphis, Boston, Yahoo, Google, and the federal penitentiary in Alderson, West Virginia (Martha, is that you?). Just so you don't think I'm bragging: 50% of my site traffic views these pages for less than five seconds.

Edit 1: Minor edits to make it more better. Updated last number in last paragraph to reflect that fact that more individuals have decided to linger on this site for a full six seconds before returning to the porn that they were surfing previously.

Edit 2: Corrected some dumb redundancy in first paragraph.